did i f up?

[skimnczach]

So I applied to a bunch of different positions for this summer in my field. I got accepted into a really sweet one in Greensboro, NC at UNC-G and assuming that I wasn't getting into my top choice, Cornell, I took it last Tuesday. I did ask for an extension to wait to hear back from others but she wouldn't give it to me.

I found out today that I got into Cornell and went back on saying yes to the other and the lady (it's just one person luckily, and not a committee as at most schools) pretty much freaked out on me and hung up twice. I understand her anger but I thought she overreacted quite a bit. I know what I did was unethical but hanging up twice on me and yelling about how I need to grow up seemed a bit irrational for someone tenured.

I'm worried she may email some people just trying to make me look bad. I'm not as worried about my recommendors as I am about her emailing people at Cornell.

Does anyone think she may do this or am I just worrying too much?

[Colin Tracy]

I dont think Cornell would care, you picked them. And that sounds pretty unprofessional of her, so I wouldnt give her too much credit. You did what you wanted to do and thats what counts.

[xsjado916]

plus you asked for an extension...if it comes down to cornell will understand

[skimnczach]

Thanks for the reassurance. I'm just pissed that I can't enjoy the fact that I got into such a good program because she decided to have a pissy fit. I know she had told some other people that her program was full and turned them away, but like you said xsjado916, I asked for an extension and let her know in < 1 week of saying yes to her.

Does anyone have any personal experience in terms of this kinda situation in jobs or any other similar situations?

[Kude]

well, I can offer no advice. But congrats for getting into the program.

[Rocco]

Thanks for the reassurance. I'm just pissed that I can't enjoy the fact that I got into such a good program because she decided to have a pissy fit. I know she had told some other people that her program was full and turned them away, but like you said xsjado916, I asked for an extension and let her know in < 1 week of saying yes to her.

Does anyone have any personal experience in terms of this kinda situation in jobs or any other similar situations?

cornell program sounds like its going to look more favorable for any professional future you choose when you put it on your resume.

sometimes you gotta step on some toes to make sure you get the best deal.

[BART]

So I applied to a bunch of different positions for this summer in my field. I got accepted into a really sweet one in Greensboro, NC at UNC-G and assuming that I wasn't getting into my top choice, Cornell, I took it last Tuesday. I did ask for an extension to wait to hear back from others but she wouldn't give it to me.

I found out today that I got into Cornell and went back on saying yes to the other and the lady (it's just one person luckily, and not a committee as at most schools) pretty much freaked out on me and hung up twice. I understand her anger but I thought she overreacted quite a bit. I know what I did was unethical but hanging up twice on me and yelling about how I need to grow up seemed a bit irrational for someone tenured.

I'm worried she may email some people just trying to make me look bad. I'm not as worried about my recommendors as I am about her emailing people at Cornell.

Does anyone think she may do this or am I just worrying too much?

i doubt she would do this. and if she did i'm not sure it's really her business. there may even be legal issues if she tries to sabotage you, maybe not.

As for 'doing the right thing' or whatever, it's an integrity issue. pretty much up to you to know whether you are in integrity or not. it's also a possibility that taking the job at Cornell is what you had to do to be fully in integrity with yourself.

also, congratulations. it's done and I wouldn't spent any more time thinking about it. go celebrate.

[skimnczach]

Thanks BART. I was hoping you'd have some input. I'll do just that.

[BART]

my wife read your post, she works in human resources and hiring departments, and she was like 'yeah... not a big deal. he should pick the job he wants. that lady is not being very professional about it.' the only potential downside i see is that you've burned a bridge with that other lady for future work. but that's done, you made the choice you needed to make so who cares.

[skimnczach]

Thanks again BART. Yeah, I don't ever really expect to be working at UNC-G at all and the subject of mathematics I'm more interested in has nothing to do with what she's interested in (one other reason I chose Cornell in the end). So I'm not all that worried about burning bridges. I'm glad your wife read over it, makes me feel better!

My recommendors did tell me that I shouldn't go back and say no to her at this point, but I did anyways. Hopefully they can live with the fact that I handle some things differently than most mathematicians.

[BART]

you sure love math

[skimnczach]

math=BART

[skimmer612]

congrats man...it can't really get any better than cornell! the only mistake you made was giving up the chance of going to a school with hotter girls

[beachbum]

I side with BART on this one. Im in a similar situation job wise.

JOB 1 has rolling admissions (will accept applications at any time and hire an applicant that they see fit at any time)...as opposed to a set application deadline.

JOB 2 has a strict April 1st deadline where after they review all applicants and decide.

I want JOB 2 over JOB 1. But do I risk not applying for JOB 1 until I hear from JOB 2, with the possibility that I dont get JOB 2 and JOB 1 fills and I lose out? Or do I apply to JOB 1, get hired for JOB 1, and later tell them sorry I got another job when I hear I was selected for JOB 2.

Ive talked to a few different professors. The big issue is for me is that its unprofessional to accept a job and drop it later for another. One prof who im cool with pretty much told me it happens in the real world and though it doesnt look good on you, you gotta look out what is best for you. As Bart said, you only risk fracking yourself if you need to get back in connection with the person you accepted from and later declined.

Usually they are understanding, however your lady seems a bit extreme. I doubt she will do anything drastic to affect your future and if she tries it will fail.

[skimnczach]

Thanks beachbum. I appreciate the response. You're right, definitely not the best thing to do to go back on an offer but you gotta look out for yourself.