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  1. #1
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    Default It's just jokes...

    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

    "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

    To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
    Last edited by omi one; 05-26-2006 at 11:12 AM.
    "...Until you man up, you shut the frack up..."

  2. #2
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    Default

    :eek:

  3. #3
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    that is a good joke.

  4. #4
    I'm with stupid
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    I'm guessing about half this joke is missing cause that has to be the worst set up for a joke ever.

  5. #5
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    Didn't laugh, but it was OK.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by DjMattyD
    I'm guessing about half this joke is missing cause that has to be the worst set up for a joke ever.
    Maybe that helped???
    "...Until you man up, you shut the frack up..."

  7. #7
    I'm with stupid
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    yes much better

  8. #8
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    that was a shocker! :0 !!

  9. #9
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    great joke, here a yo mamma one
    yo mama is so fat they Christened her at sea world.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tear Down Your Idols
    great joke, here a yo mamma one
    yo mama is so fat they Christened her at sea world.
    I think it would be better if said like "Yo Mamma so fat they had to Baptize huh ass at Sea World!"

    That would win you $1000 in cashmahney.

  11. #11
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    Jeah!
    "...Until you man up, you shut the frack up..."

  12. #12
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    it kinda madde me go "oooo!! unfortunate for that guy."
    thenextskimboarder.wordpress.com

  13. #13
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    that first joke is nasty

    Here is an old one

    These two guys are hunting in the forest and suddenly, one of the guys drops to the ground dead. the other guy grabs his cell phone and calls 911.
    Operator: Hello. Whats the problem
    Guy: I think that my friend is dead. He just dropped to the ground and isn't breathing. What should I do?
    Operator: Okay sir calm down. First, you have to make sure that he is dead.
    Guy: Okay hold on
    The guy puts down the phone and a few seconds later, the operator hears a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone.
    Guy: Okay now what?
    Safety is for people who don't know what they are doing.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by idrathrbskimmin
    that first joke is nasty

    Here is an old one

    These two guys are hunting in the forest and suddenly, one of the guys drops to the ground dead. the other guy grabs his cell phone and calls 911.
    Operator: Hello. Whats the problem
    Guy: I think that my friend is dead. He just dropped to the ground and isn't breathing. What should I do?
    Operator: Okay sir calm down. First, you have to make sure that he is dead.
    Guy: Okay hold on
    The guy puts down the phone and a few seconds later, the operator hears a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone.
    Guy: Okay now what?

    hahahaha thats quality jokeness i think you get some rep power for this

  15. #15
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    Haha the first one made me smile and chuckle but the last one is hilarious

 

 

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