...I am now.
I live on a quiet cul de sac. We have great neighbors and being that we are the only ones in the sac to have a pool we are pretty popular during the summer. Anyway one of my neighbors is a born again Christian couple with a boy (he's 4, one year older than my daughter).
After some initial bible thumping on their part (trying to get me to attend bible study at their house, etc) we have become good friends. The husband is a good tennis player and I taught him how to skimboard. The wife is nice but a teensy bit standoffish, I think she thinks I am a bit of a heathen. She is very modest in her dress. She is also a runner and has some nice long legs.
Anyway, last week I was sitting around in the front yard with the neighbor wife and her boy waiting for my wife and kid to get home to see if the kids wanted to go swimming. Neighbor wife was sitting on a tree swing and I was pulling a few weeds in the lawn. I look up and low and behold I am looking straight up neighbor wife's skirt (she had her legs far apart, due to the heat I suppose). Just at that moment she looked down. BUSTED.
She immediately crossed her legs faster than the speed of light, but the damage was done. I saw what I saw and she saw me seeing what I saw. I'm pretty sure I broke one of the Ten Commandments although Charleton Heston did not appear with a tablet and burning bush so I'm going off of memory here.
So I guess I'm headed for eternal damnation which kind of sucks. But maybe I can get off on a technicality - it's not like I intended to look up her skirt, it just kind of happened, kind of like when you stumble across a twenty dollar bill lying on the ground.
PS: Once when neighbor husband was trying to get me to go to church with him I said, 'no, it's ok I was baptized as a child so it's all good', to which he replied, 'no, it doesn't count unless you get baptized as an adult'.
wtf is up with that bait and switch? I thought the water to the noggin as a baby had me covered!