More Messing With People In Chat Rooms

[DjMattyD]

Heather: How y'all doin 2nite?

Auron86: whats up?

Heather: n/m just feelin a little down

Auron86: whats wrong???

Heather: bad day got a rejection letter an my dog died

Auron86: awwwww

Heather: yeah it sux

Auron86: what was your rejection letter from a boyd friend?

Heather: lol no silly from a college

Auron86: lol

Heather: I dont have a boyfriend

Auron86: lol u want a boyfriend :P

Heather: I dont know :P If hes cute

Auron86: girls say im cute at work

Heather: Where do you work?

Auron86: circuit city

Heather: oooh you must be smart

Auron86: lol i guess my iq is like 165 I think

Heather: :O

Auron86: lol tell me about you

Heather: I'm from Corpus Christi, I was a cheerleader but I was like the nerdy cheerleader

Auron86: I bet ur hot

Heather: I don't know I'm really into videogames and Final Fantasy

Auron86: lol cool what do u look like????

[DjMattyD]

Heather: I'm a ditzy blonde

Auron86: lol

Heather: Im in good shape but my boobs are a little too big they get in the way XP

Auron86: mmm sounds hot

Heather: what about you what do you look like?

Auron86: Im 6'1" pretty big guy but im really strong

Heather: I like a strong man :P

Auron86: ap erfect match!!

Heather: You're not black are you?

Auron86: nope im white

Heather: whew okay good

Auron86: lol dont like black people?

Heather: Not very much but they aren't as bad as Jews

Auron86: lol im totally white dont wory babby

Heather: That's reassurin, I can't stand to think I might be giving my secrets to those heeb vipers.

Auron86: u gonna tell me a secret??

Heather: Hmmm, maybe, I don't know if I trust you yet :P

Auron86: bnaby you can trust me

Heather: maybe later

Auron86: whatever u want baby your wish is my commans

Heather:

Auron86: so what kind of music u like?

Heather: oh a little bit of everything

Auron86: lol havy metal?

Heather: awww that reminds me of my lil sis

Auron86: whats wrong???

Heather: she's just a little baby and last week she was sleeping in her crib and one of our ferrets got in the crib with her and chewed off her nose.

Auron86: OMG

[DjMattyD]

Heather: Yeah it was really horrible. I had to get it out from under the refrigerator with a broom, but it was all gnawed up and nasty.

Auron86: thats fracking crazy!!!

Heather: We have a lot of ferrets and daddy said he was gonna drown them all after that

Auron86: that is fracked up

Heather: put them in a bag and drown them and you know what I dont care

Auron86: so what did they do about her nose?

Heather: that's what reminded me. My mom tried to knit a nose with a little strap to go over her head, but it ended up my daddy made one out of tin and it sort of hooks in there to her skull-face

Auron86: im so sorry

Heather: I'm bringing the mood down, let's talk about something else.

Auron86: are u a virgin???

Heather: that's very forward!

Auron86: lol j/k

Heather: no it's okay, I am a virgin but I've done oral sex before

Auron86: mmm that sounds hot

Heather: I practiced a lot on a broom handle

Auron86: did u get splinters??

Heather: no silly it was plastic it was a swiffer and then I asked my minister about it and he let me try it on him

Auron86: OMFG! girl u are crazy

Heather: I've calmed down a lot I was only 9 when I did that

Auron86: ummmmm how old are u now?

Heather: I just turned 18

Auron86: so ur legal

Heather: totally

Auron86: Im 22 but I just wanted to make sure I wasnt in one of those tv shows I am not into kids

Heather: Kids have turned me off ever since my accident

Auron86: ???

Heather: long story, no biggie

[DjMattyD]

Auron86: tell me

Heather: Oh I just had a few too many hard lemonades at Kylie's party last summer and I hit a kid on his bike and was charged with vehicular manslaughter

Heather: I mean wtf was a 11 year old doing riding his bike at like midnight??? come on!

Auron86: omg

Heather: yeah, it sucked big time, they suspended my license and now I can't drive anywhere on my own. I've hated kids ever since.

Auron86: I guess so

Heather: so are you trying to seduce me Auron?

Auron86: u can call me brian

Auron86: and maybe ;P

Auron86: was that true about the kid?

Heather: Unfortunately it is true brian but I moved past it so forget that ancient history

Auron86: its okay we all make mistakes

Heather: Yeah, like filing my teeth

Auron86: what does that mean?

Heather: oh no big whoop y'all, I just filed my teeth down to points for a play I was in

Auron86: didn't that hurt?!?!

Heather: oh yeah a ton and it looks really scary right now if I smile but im gettin them capped

Auron86: do they get cavetes?

Heather: yeah, I got a really bad abscess in my jaw and had to go on anitbiotic and painkillers

Auron86: u ok now?

Heather: all better but i am addicted to painkillers now

Auron86: i done oxy before

Heather: yeah, it's a lot like oxy

Auron86: maybe we could hook up and do it together baby

Heather: I'd love that but fyi its morphine injections not oxy

Auron86: with a needle???

Heather: of course silly, like Sherlock Holmes

Auron86: maybe not then but you could still try out those skills from the broom handle ;D

Heather: lol you are so dirty, don't you worry about sin?

Auron86: baby im a sinner!!!

Auron86: i dont believe in the bible but if you do thats cool

Heather: I don't believe in Christianity but I am a dragon

Auron86: a dragon?

Heather: Oh yeah, y'all. I am a prismatic dragon from Tothor, an elder male named Surlakk.

Auron86: I thought you said you were a cheerleader

Heather: Definitely I am that too I am a changeling. I am connected to my dragon self by the crystal I wear around my neck and I can take the form of Surlakk when I need it.

Auron86: like do you pick when you change forms?

Heather: Usually, but if I feel like I'm in danger I sometimes change forms

Auron86: that is awesome

Heather: The last time I changed was when that bat bit me on my face

Auron86: lol what

Heather: Bat done got up in our attic and mom made me chase it out with the broom before it turned into an infestation

Auron86: did you get it?

Heather: yeah, I got it alright, right in the face! scratches and bites all over

Auron86: ouch :*(

Heather: hurt more when I realized I was coming down with a case of the rabies

Auron86: did the doctor give u a shot in ur cute butt?

Heather: no the thing with rabies is you got to just ride it out, I'm a couple days away from the worst of it

Auron86: uh well good luck

Heather: you know who jamie lee curtis is?

Auron86: yes

Heather: she's got this thing called testicular feminization and she looks just like a beautiful woman but she has testicles inside her

Heather: I have that same condition, but you can't tell or anything unless you palpate my perineum

******Auron86 has disconnected

Heather: but she's so beautiful!

Heather: didn't you see True Lies?

[ejb]

lmao that was awesome, i do the same thing

[kyleskim6]

that was actually really funny

[bhassan]

hahaha the part about her sister was gold.

[Ammy]

that was ok, kinda funny.

[Walruz996]

Wasn't bad. Had some decent moments, doesn't compare to the ones colin posted though.

[skimmer-x]

Just goes to show how far dumbass pervs will go to get ass on the internet.

[Mmm... Pasta]

Incident with the kid
"No big deal though."
That was the best line.

[jesse]

"Heather: Not very much but they aren't as bad as Jews

Auron86: lol im totally white dont wory babby

Heather: That's reassurin, I can't stand to think I might be giving my secrets to those heeb vipers."



freaking hitler man... gotta love him


NOT. ps- happy sukkot dave!

[DjMattyD]

yeah Im gunna start calling more people "Heeb Vipers"

[Walruz996]

Haha, thanks jesse, not sure what it is though.

[jesse]

are you serious?

it's a jewish holiday from the bible haha

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukkot

[h1r0k1]

pretty funny...last part about dragon was weird. I would rather be a monkey!