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  1. #1
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    Default heres a good one

    Blonde Murder Victim


    WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

    Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

    And, yes, Linda is a blonde.
    Zap, SPY, Indo Board, Nekton, La Trill Grillz

  2. #2
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    yeah, most people dont realize this, but holding your brains in will save you after being shot in the head
    Your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass

  3. #3
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    ahaha. what a stupid bitch.
    Matt

    Teacher: Jonah cap off and balls on the ground... Jonah what are you doing?

    Jonah: You said to put my balls on the ground miss...

  4. #4
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    Damn this is like from middle school but still a classic!
    I skim FL poop waves.

  5. #5
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    retarded. no other words.

  6. #6
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    hahhahahahaahahahahhahaa this was hilarious

  7. #7
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    brains feel like bread dough?
    "The worst is when they won't stop crying. I mean c'mon, I'm trying to cum here!" - Zach Braff on pet peaves

  8. #8
    Skim Invasion General
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    Default

    I heard that a while ago. I didn't know where it had happened.
    Frank Hastings
    You know the web site.

  9. #9
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    o i thought she was burnett. hahahahhahahh dumb bitch

  10. #10
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    yeah same thing happend to me but it was ketchup n i was really baked...mmmmmmmm biscuits

  11. #11
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    Default

    wow. funny as hell though.

  12. #12
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    omg that was awsome

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by RexSkimmer
    yeah, most people dont realize this, but holding your brains in will save you after being shot in the head
    Yeah, so she isn't really a dumb blonde then?
    www.connorroelke.com

  14. #14
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    nope, she just has some good first aid knowledge
    Your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass

  15. #15
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    yeah that's mad old. Who knows if it's even true or not, but it's funny as hell.

  16. #16
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