When bachelor parties go wrong. *pics*

[Colon]

So I went to NY for a buddy's bachelor party and wedding. Not being local and needing a stripper we did what anyone would do: google.

We came up with these promising honeys:

http://www.orangeride.com/archives/2003/stripper_birthday/website_strippers.jpg

The night arrived and we were drinking nonstop and anticipating a smoking hot stripper. This was gonna be fun. The clock struck 10 and there was a knock on the door.

But this is the hideous beast-machine they sent us. We got duped with the old stripper switch-a-roo.

http://www.orangeride.com/archives/2003/stripper_birthday/stripper.jpg

Not only was she grossly overweight, but she lacked those cool stripper dance moves that you see in the clubs (so I've heard). She arrived sloppy drunk, coked-up, smeared lipstick and falling all over the place. Shameful.

http://www.orangeride.com/archives/2003/stripper_birthday/stripper_whip.jpg

[Colon]

The gelatinous monster then turned to feast on the innocent party-goers.

http://www.orangeride.com/archives/2003/stripper_birthday/leg_lick.jpg
http://www.orangeride.com/archives/2003/stripper_birthday/danielle_lick2.jpg
http://www.orangeride.com/archives/2003/stripper_birthday/mike_crothknock.jpg

[Colon]

$185 per half hour. Good thing we weren't paying per pound.
http://www.orangeride.com/archives/2003/stripper_birthday/stripper_stomach.jpg

This was pretty much the reaction.
http://www.orangeride.com/archives/2003/stripper_birthday/disgust.jpg

Instead of filling her g-string with the typical dollar bills we found more fitting rewards for her.
http://www.orangeride.com/archives/2003/stripper_birthday/stripper_menu.jpg

So when renting a stripper do so with caution. The end.

[DjMattyD]

oh for the love of god

[SolvenCarlos]

I am now committing suicide because of you, colon.

[BATMAN]

omg hahahaha

[Blak_skimmer220]

hahahahahah

stripper-owned

[vicskim76]

haha, shes grabbin that dude's D and he's about to hurl.

[kylebaz]

dear god.
thats all i have to say.

[WOODOO]

hahaha thats awesome

[BART]

what was her online picture (did she have one?)

[waddsworth]

I learned that lesson the hard way as well. You have got to have the bitches audition - see them in person and choose which one you want.

[kylebaz]

hey man shes not that bad...



NOT

[BART]

i just had a bachelor party last weekend, we went camping.

[skimmer-x]

Holy shit, I would have said you have the wrong house.

[DT]

Holy shit! Hahahaha! Well, at least it was, ummm, a woman? (confirmation might have required a panty check, probably not enough beer in the tri-state area to send someone down there...)

O M G, the flyers for the fast food taco dive, classic!!

+1 for you

[RexSkimmer]

just more cushion for the pushin......

[SolvenCarlos]

And then you wake up the next morning with some itchy red spots and peeing pus.

[Ammy]

dammmmmmmnnnn fine honeys. you guys lucked out.

[bennyray1]

Thats the funniest shit ever ..I shit you not it happned to my friends party also...His bestman didnt even throw him a party so a couple of us all got together colected as much cash as we could...called up 2 (what we thought would be hot because of their pics)strippers...sure enough 2 fat ass bitches come rollin into my boys house driving some old ass broken down escort...funniest night of my life...ever

[Icej]

HAHAHAHAH

another great Colon thread!

[DjMattyD]

Last summer I was in amsterdam for my buddies bachelor party. One night we head to a strip club and are all sitting at this bar where the naked chicks dance over you and serve you drinks. So me and his best man start talking to this one stripper that our friend Mike said was kind of cute. So we convince her to give him a "special" dance and kick her something like 100 euro for it. So she pulls him up on top of the bar and starts rubbing on him and dancing. She takes off her top and then reaches for his shirt and takes it off him. Then she takes of her skirt and reachers down at takes off his pants. She turns around does some rubbing a little more dancing. We are about three minutes into the "dance" she grabs some ice water and some cubes and rubs it on herself then him and then pants' him. Basically he had to dance around with his wang out for a bit in a small crowded bar for us and for some reason a bunch of arabs and mexicans. Well worth my 50 euro.

[goofyboots]

hahahha

[Walruz996]

hahahahaha, that's great, Colon. The fast food menus are amazing.

[jhooligan]

i'd hit it
...with a bat

[VaSkimer18]

i'd hit it
yeah, with a shovel.

[Mapdash]

OMG colon.....she is hideous. Look at those stretch marks....god damn. ewww.

[ShockSkim]

so so so gross, i would of slammed the door in her face...wouldnt of even let her cross the thresh-hold.

[jhooligan]

yeah, with a shovel.

hit control A over my post :D

[VaSkimer18]

haha my bad

[DjMattyD]

Don't apologize, a shovel is wai funnier than a bat.

[LiveToSkim]

hahahah priceless

[noogie]

priceless

[DjMattyD]

the cost of that is undefinable

[Walruz996]

The amount of money could not be known.

[xghstx]

wow... just wow.

[i skim compton]

I chunked a little in my mouth...

[jbskim]

that company better of paid you guys.

[Coastie]

Bottom line.... Ugly shit all over the place.....Out of control....

[Utah]

HAHAHA, I love you colon...

[M I K E V]

thread of the year.

[DjMattyD]

ehhh sorry its still the PVG thread by far