Man sits on computer, posts tons of meaningless threads

[BART]

LAGUNA BEACH – Members of a popular internet message board were greeted Friday morning by an onslaught of uninteresting threads containing news clippings. The creator of the threads is a man in his late 20’s who is only identified as Brian.

Other members of the popular internet site spent the morning scrolling through the clutter of boring threads, trying to make sense of it all.

Some members voiced their dissatisfaction with the poster by leaving negative reputation points – a merit system used on message boards – and by leaving scathing comments and verbally attacking the man and his intelligence.

At one point during the day, the problem became so intrusive that the message board administrator had to intervene and remove some of the offending threads.

Not much is known about the man who committed the rash of thread postings, although sources state that he is well known for constantly bringing up his marriage with a black woman of an unconfirmed tropical origin, and for reminding everyone of his desk job at a popular office supply store.

According to sources, the poster recently credited himself for a recent increase in activity on the otherwise sleepy message board. Other members suspect his confusion about his role in the recent increase may have encouraged him to share the flurry inane news articles. A few members seem skeptical and think the man simply was acting out of spite for others. One member speculated the man had simply consumed massive amounts of drugs prior to the bombardment.

[DjMattyD]

HAHAHA "of unconfirmed tropical origin" fucking killed me!!!!

[MDskimmerMAtt]

haha bart that killed me.

[Chrith]

shes from trinidad. jeez get it right

[fireball]

hahahahahahah. thats sick. i was like who in the fuck is he talking about but then you said "reminding everyone of his desk job at a popular office supply store.
ah shit.. good stuff

[Mapdash]

Barts that was fckn epic.

[Nuke561]

epic.

[Aaron Peluso]

holy shit

all time.

[Walruz996]

Hahahaha, incredible bart, send this thread to frank for the SOMB awards.

[bhassan]

^ when are those?

[Walruz996]

End of each year.

[goofyboots]

hahahahah, best thread ive seen in a long time

[Dzan]

Be Der Tizzle

[bhassan]

speaking of worhtless post, what ever happend to skoolage?

[RexSkimmer]

soooo........who is it?

[Deebo]

Damn Bart you really have way too much time on your hands. Then again so do I, but I guess I just don't posses the same creative genious that you do. Either way that was some pretty funny stuff.

[waddsworth]

I wonder if this "Brian" will show up in this thread...

[Skeezin']

hahah so amazing...change BDirty's screen name to ...

Brian
Works in Office Supplies

[$ilky $kim]

shes from trinidad. jeez get it right
This just in...

[sealice aka lone ranger]

this just in, you look like a douche bag

[Mapdash]

I wonder if this "Brian" will show up in this thread...

i dont think he has a CP at home....only at work....so no. Plus he is busy 'living irie'.

[ZapBulletRider]

sounds like he has some shortcomings....

;)

[$ilky $kim]

this just in, you look like a douche bag
Me? Time to cry...

[waddsworth]

i dont think he has a CP at home....only at work....so no. Plus he is busy 'living irie'.

What?????? All the money he's bringing in at Office Depot, and no CP at home?

[gulfcoastskimmer]

Hahaha epic.

[Icej]

What?????? All the money he's bringing in at Office Depot, and no CP at home?
Well weed isn't free.

[Walruz996]

Well weed isn't free.

Hahaha, repped.

[skimmer-x]

I noticed his rep count is on the positive side for once. Yeah, I will keep this one on mind. Bart should be a reporter.

[BDirty]

This just in.....

The one time leader in news stories, and most recently insanely rediculed member of the popular message board responded to the allegations of his Friday morning "uninteresting" threads containing news clippings from around the world.

The poster who has now changed his name to a symbol, middle finger in the air (FU) much like the rock star Prince said to believe the people reading his stories possibly acted out of hatred towards "visualize symbol FU; AKA B Dirty" because they are in fact miserable in their own lives, or do not enjoy reading whats good in the world of the wierd and wacky.

The professionals we interviewed to discus the overwhelming amount of negative responses received said they "may" have responded in this manner due to the following circumstances.

1.They may feel insucure in their man own hood, or with the postings themselves. However words posted by Bdirty were in no way directed towards anyone in particular, the responders felt this was their time to react in a manner unbecoming to the message boards moderators, which lead to mass deletion of popular news stories. At this time we currently feel this board is corrupt do to the large following of hatred towards BDirty.

At no time did "BDirty" intend to cause undo stress to these indivuals, which was solely brought on by themselves which also known as drama queen-isms...or bitchedin front of a computer screen, not to be confused with drag queens, however some of these FIRST RESPONDERS are said to partake in this activity as well, by pretending they like women, joining myspace and skimming in speedo like shorts.

The true matter of fact the readers themselves caused undo stress on the message board, with the attempt to gain others respect and have them join in on the onslaught of the said poster, "visualize symbol FU".

Some of these readers I feel did not even know why they were responding in the manner they did, other than the fact the wagon train of negative EMO's who agrresively recuit these individuals started to attempt to bring down the said poster Bdirty. Our professional group of counselors advised the first responders behaved in such a manner which causes them now to be labeled as " true followers of the emo-isms, and drama queen-isms" and not true leaders in todays wild world of wacky news....says the associated internet posting board of 2008.

Their multiple and often FAILED attempts of adding negative reputation points and leaving scathing comments by verbally attacking the man and his intelligence have gone unheard or undocumented to date.

With regards to the final paragraph, THE SYMBOL- BDIRTY at no time acted out in spite, but intended to change the over all boring posts and direction the message board by adding more interesting information other than color, trexture and flavors of surf wax.

A few members seem skeptical and think the man simply was acting out of spite for others. One member speculated the man had simply consumed massive amounts of drugs prior to the bombardment. However both speculations were deemed untrue and unable to prove until after 5 pm on a Friday evening.


Corrections in the posting::

I have a couple computers at home, because my day job isnt my only job. How do you think I check the surf report? Carrier pidgeon?, or by the brail key pad on the corner ATM machine?

You forgot some other information I havent provided to the reporters yet.

I also aid in running a mortgage processing company, no time for skim online at home, I can only put up with you cool dudes, emos, and faggets for so long, 8 hours maybe 7 and a half and thats it.

Good article though, pretty funny. I still think you all just want more of the Dirty news, but some of those articles I posted on Friday were entertaining.

My favorite one which I find was deleted was the comparison between some of my news stories with some of the other.s

The Ninja baby story took some time, and this thread had to beat out best wax thread? come on people?

This is about all you can come up with??.

Some members voiced their dissatisfaction with the poster by leaving negative reputation points – a merit system used on message boards – and by leaving scathing comments and verbally attacking the man and his intelligence.

Ohhh ouch name calling and negative reputation? Damn what am I going to do with my life and career over as we know it because of name calling and negative reputation points. I thank god reputation points means nothing when it comes to, health, love, good credit, having a decent job, having a good time on the weekends and over all love, life and the pursuit of happiness, or I would be as miserable as most of you....

NOTE: If you choose to pick apart this email with spelling or gramatical errors, you are an EMO.

[ZapBulletRider]

fail.

[sealice aka lone ranger]

gay

[jhooligan]

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/fail.jpg

[BDirty]

Poor kitty...lol

[ballin]

dude really? thats your response to that?

[BDirty]

What more does it require?

[DjMattyD]

gorillas aren't monkeys

[BDirty]

Pop Quiz COOL GUY

Do you know what movie that line is from?

[DjMattyD]

Trinidad Mongoloid Gangbang 5?

[BDirty]

That midget is related to you in some way I know it...uncle and your dad maybe? it must suck not having a penis.



Its from Cannon Ball Run the original 80s masterpiece.

[DjMattyD]

yeah.....





great

[narwhal]

highfive bart.

[Patrick]

Wow.

[BDirty]

Holy freaking cow, do you believe this dude....unreal.

[BDirty]

amazingly amazed by the amazing skillz

[DT]

Wow, my travels made me miss out on this? Staying at home next time :D

[bbskim101]

What are SOMB awards.

[Skeezin']

Noob!

[BDirty]

Skim online message board awards....

SOMBA AKA

you posted something cool once so you can suck on my balls you asshole awards